On the new Xbox interface

Dear Xbox,

We’ve had some really great times together. I think we were destined to be together since I first tried “Halo 2” in 12th grade, when the kids in my computer class brought in their Xboxes before school to play. When I got my own 360, it was a whole new world. Halo, Need For Speed, Guitar Hero, Fallout…you had it all. You kept me happy for hours upon hours and even gave me an outlet. Nothing relieves anger quicker than pwning a bunch of noobs on Halo Live.

But now, things are different. I tried “Guitar Hero: Metallica” yesterday, but before you even let us play you made us go through this update. And once it finished…well, the Xbox I had come to love was gone. Gone were the suave colors and modern sound effects of your original interface, which always welcomed me like a futuristic hotel in paradise. In its place was a garish intro video and a blocky, crude menu. You look more like a jukebox now, Xbox.

And the worst part is this “avatar” thing. Honestly, I could get used to the new menu, but whose stupid idea was it to give everyone avatars? Someone already did that – a little company you may have heard of called Nintendo. So yours is more customizable – who cares? Maybe I’m generalizing here, but we got Xboxes instead of Wiis so we could blow stuff up, not so we could waste half an hour choosing shoes for our avatars. When I boot up my system, I want to see my screen filled with heavy firepower and maybe some aliens, not a cheerfully waving clone puppet.

I don’t know where to go from here. I know it’s too much to ask for you to change back, and maybe in time I’ll get used to your new look, but it’s clear that our relationship will never be the way it was. Have fun playing dress-up with your new friends.

Sincerely,
Laura

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