Oregon plays dirty

It’s May. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the saying “April showers bring May flowers” is incomplete when applied to the Pacific Northwest; it should really go, “April showers bring May flowers, but those May flowers need plenty of water too, so just stay indoors until July or so, thanks.”

Unfortunately, I have to walk to class for the next three weeks. I am not too proud to carry an umbrella, and this has lessened my torment significantly. At least my nose stays dry, even if the pant legs continue to suffer.

Today, however, Oregon decided that the umbrella thing just wasn’t fair, and decided to throw in some wind. Lots of wind. And suddenly I found myself facing a new phenomenon of public embarrassment: umbrella hair.

See, when you have an umbrella, the wind just swoops in under the bell and grabs your hair and make you look sort of like a very excited mushroom. Tuck it behind your ears all you want – it will still be torn free and thrown around until you arrive at your destination resembling a hobo in a tornado. Now you have jeans wet to mid-calf (plus damp patches above the knees where the coat was blowing open), your nose and cheeks are red from the cold, and your hair looks like you just lost three rounds against a hurricane.

We’d better not suffer from any drought conditions this summer. That would be a level of ironic I just can’t handle.


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