Adventures with Charlie

Our cats are indoor cats. Slicker used to be an outdoor cat, but when his frenemy Sassy failed to return one evening…

The definitive image of Sassy.

The definitive image of Sassy.

…we started keeping him in. He’s pretty bitter.

So very bitter.

So very bitter.

Charlie, however, was raised indoors. Sometime during his youth, we took pity on his poor confined existence and got a harness for him.

Mayhem ensued.

Mayhem ensued.

With the sunny weather, we usually leave the back door open so the cats can sit by the screen and inhale all the joy they’re missing out on. Slicker usually pretends he’s no longer interested in going outside, but Charlie has tried on at least two occasions to go through the screen and take out a squirrel that’s taunting him from the trees. My mom and sister are usually too busy to take him out on his leash – but now, I’m home.

Charlie: “OOH. OOH. You’re going in the drawer! There’s something cool in that drawer, isn’t there?”

“Yep. Come here.”

“HARNESS! HARNESS HARNESS HARNESS OH MAN YES THIS IS AWESOME.”

“Okay, great, now will you please – no, I have to get your head in here first – would you stop moving, so I can – okay, good, thank you.”

“THERE, I DIDN’T MOVE, CAN WE GO NOW?”

“No, not yet, I have to clip this – thing – move your legs, please? And stop wiggling, I’ll clip your fur and you’ll hate that – hold still, you moron – ”

“OPEN THE DOOR OPEN THE DOOR OPEN THE DOOOOOOOR.”

“OKAY, WE’RE GOING.”

“Hey it smells good out here! And check out this grass, it’s all poky, and hey, it tastes good! Do you mind if we sit here for seven or eight minutes so I can chew on this?”

“You’re gonna throw up later.”

“*munch munch* What?”

“Never mind. Go for it.”

“HEY you know what else is fun? ROLLING AROUND. I’ll do that for a while.”

“Cool.”

“*roll roll roll*”

“Hang on, I might as well de-fur you while you’re out here.”

“BELLY RUUUUUUUUUBS MY SECRET PLAN IS A SUCCESS.”

“Well, congratulations. Now we won’t have to bring a trash can along every time we want to pet you.”

“WHAT’S OVER HERE?”

“That’s bark.”

“It’s kinda pointy. OOH WHAT’S THIS? IT SMELLS GOOD.”

“It’s probably the rabbits that have been running through.”

“WHAT WAS THAT NOISE.”

“Well, there’s a bird. Right there. On the fence. I’m pretty sure if any of your feline instincts are left, you’ll notice – ”

“BIRD.”

“Good boy.”

Bird: “…Is that a cat?”

“He’s on a leash, don’t worry.”

“You put a cat on a leash?”

“CAN I SAY HI TO THE BIRD?”

“Come on, Charlie, leave the nice birdy alone.”

“Aw, okay. OOH MORE GRASS. *chomp*”

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5 thoughts on “Adventures with Charlie

  1. Pingback: home again, home again, jiggety jig « Ruby Bastille

  2. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Glimpses of Me | Ruby Bastille

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