I may have had a little breakdown yesterday about job searching. I feel like I keep hitting dead ends, and half the time I see something interesting on Craigslist, it turns out to be spam reposted in eighteen different cities. (Hey, that’s what I should do when this is all over – write the Normal Person’s Guide to Finding A Real Job On Craigslist…assuming it hasn’t been done already. And assuming my job actually comes from Craigslist. But I digress.) I’ve sent out a few applications – more than 5, less than 10, I think – and only gotten one hit back. I was – still am, a bit – frustrated, and I kept myself up late imagining myself at 30 and living in my sleeping bag in a cardboard box. I think I was wearing a terrible hat.
As usual, though, things seem to be a lot worse when it’s almost midnight and dark and cold than they really are. This morning I met with an old friend, my choir director from bygone days, and he had some words of wisdom and encouragement for me. Getting away from the computer and stupid Craigslist helped a bit, too.
With my courage bolstered, I took notes on the company I got an automated response from and called back this afternoon, pumped for this screening for this job I don’t particularly want but kind of need.
It was a total bust.
There was terrible miscommunication and mismatched expectations and I would be very surprised if I made it any further with their application process. It didn’t help that this was over the phone and the recruiter was probably just some outside Joe hired on a temp basis or something. I told my mom about it and naturally started crying, because I am a weak and emotional female please pass the smelling salts, and she looked at me blankly and said “You don’t want that job.” And (because moms are sometimes infuriating that way) she’s right. I am pretty introverted, and while I can lead a team and convince people to do stuff when I really have to, it’s not my favorite course of action. I like writing. I want to write correspondence or edit or write copy. It would be particularly nice if this all took place in an international programs office, where I have the most experience, and where I ultimately want to wind up as a marketing director or something similar.
For now, I’m continuing to apply for office-support type jobs, but I’m also looking back at the things that make me happy. I’m writing up some articles to submit (fingers crossed) to some travel magazines. I’m bringing my DSLR with me when I head back to Corvallis next week, in hopes of finding clear weather and some good photographs. I’m even looking back at selling stock photos. Oh yeah, I’m working on my book again, too.
The goal here is not to go crazy and to not become a jaded old woman. Step one: Stop checking Craigslist after 5 because nothing else is going to happen.