Before I get back to the most exciting movies of the year, I have to take a moment to scold Brendan Fraser.
Come on, man. I defended you from the beginning. I was with you through the first two “Mummy” movies. I dug you in “George of the Jungle.” I approved of your decision to do “Inkheart,” even though you looked like you hated yourself in the poster, because my sister loved that book. You did “GI Joe” and the third Mummy and I said they could at least be fun. But when “Journey to the Center of the Earth” came out, everyone remembered you were in that awful Looney Tunes movie and turned on you.
And still I stood up for you! Your boyish good looks! Your winning grin! Your wry sense of humor!
But then you had to go and do this:
Kevin and I watched that last night. And I looked at him when it ended and said, “That is absolutely the worst trailer I’ve ever seen.”
So we’re done, Brendan Fraser. Until you go back to making cheesy action flicks where you belong, we’re done. So long, and have fun with your CGI skunks.
Okay, back to the good stuff.
One last note about “Alice in Wonderland” – the costumes are done by the same gal who did “Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events” (and “Chicago” and “Sweeney Todd”), Colleen Atwood, who is pretty spectacular.
Now for the rest of the year…
First up, A-Team (June 11): I am from the generation that’s only familiar with “The A-Team” because of that one Family Guy episode and the ubiquitousness of Mr. T. I don’t even know what the original premise of the show was, other than possibly four vigilante kind of guys who drove around in an 80s-tastic van. All I know about the remake is that Liam Neeson is in it, chomping on a cigar, and so is Bradley Cooper of “Hangover” fame. I don’t even know who they cast in Mr. T’s role, and I only hope that he doesn’t try to replace Mr. T, because he won’t even come close.
(All right, all right, hang on a minute, I’m sorry, it has to be done: “I PITY THE FOOL WHO HASTA REPLACE MR. T.”)
Also, in the trailer – okay, let me see if I can remember this right – they escape a plane that’s blowing up by hopping into the tank that’s on board, which parachutes through the air, and Bradley Cooper sticks his head out the top to gun down the attackers.
Toy Story 3 (June 18): It’s more Toy Story. It’s about growing up and loss and all those heartbreaking things Pixar manages to make clear and beautiful and fun. It’s MORE TOY STORY YOU GUYS THIS IS AMAZING.
The Last Airbender (July 2): The TV show was amazing. I was thrilled to hear they were making the movie – a little wary when I heard M. Night Shyamalan was directing – and downright frustrated when they cast white kids in practically all the lead roles.
This is the cast from the TV show:
The peak of all this insanity was when Jesse McCartney was cast as Zuko, the scarred and furious and very Asian archnemesis. The rest of the Internet pretty much exploded. So Jesse was replaced with…
Dev Patel! From “Slumdog Millionaire!” Again, not the guy who springs to mind first when you thing of a vengeful teenage villain whose father tried to kill him, but at least he’s not Jesse McCartney. And at least he can act.
At any rate, the effects will be spectacular, and the casting has improved somewhat, so I’m game.
Green Hornet (December 22): I think a lot of people were incredulous when Seth Rogen (yes, the dude from “Knocked Up”) announced he wanted to make a comic book movie. But he quickly proved he was serious about it – apparently he’d been a fan of the Green Hornet for ages, and he’s lost a ton of weight for the role. From the set pictures that have surface online, this looks like a dang fun movie.
As for the skeptics – look, if Val Kilmer could play Batman, and Nicolas Cage could actually get a role as a comic book hero, Seth Rogen can pull off Green Hornet.
Tron Legacy (December 17): I haven’t seen the original. I’m still not exactly sure what it’s about. All I know is that Jeff Bridges is back, the footage showed at Comic-Con used “Separate Ways” by Journey which as we all know is an automatic win for anything, and this trailer is mind-blowing:
Okay, well, I can’t embed the trailer, but you should go watch it.
It’ll be in 3D.
Happy New Year, y’all!
(And yeah, the first part of “Deathly Hallows” comes out in December too, but it kind of goes without saying that I’m looking forward to it.)