it’s a miracle i found a husband

Me, in a text: “Finally got my own desk at work. It lights up. Awww yeeeaah.”

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Jessica: “Whaaat. That’s awesome. That desk is ballin’.”

Me: “Fo rizzle. I feel like I’m on Star Trek.”

Jessica: “Whenever your boss tells you to do something, you should yell ‘ENGAGE’ and start typing furiously.”

Me: “When something goes wrong with my computer, I can turn my desk lights to red and call for help in a Scottish accent.”

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