2013 is off to, well, a weird start. Some key people in our lives have health issues and we’re trying to help with a few fractured relationships, but my writing and blogging is going better than it ever has before, we have a beautiful house, and we have each other. It’s a weird case of having very high “highs” and very low “lows.”
1) Last weekend. We spent pretty much the whole thing reading and playing video games and it was fantastic.
2) Our amazing, incredible, loving church family. I never even dared hope that we would find a church as welcoming and caring as ours.
3) Valentine’s Day! I’ve managed to avoid almost all of the commercialism this year, which is refreshing. The day feels a lot more special when it’s not drowned in obnoxious jewelry ads and pink-packaged candy. I’m going to make a cheesecake for the first time and we’re going to have homemade steak dinner and probably watch something distinctly unromantic and it’ll be great.
4) Ash Wednesday went well. Overall, I prefer painful injections to public speaking, but I agreed to speak during the Ash Wednesday service last night. (Edit: I wrote this earlier in the day anticipating that Ash Wednesday actually would go well – and it did – but I also had to get blood drawn that day. So I got public speaking and a painful injection. God’s sense of humor, y’all.)
Per my usual, I agreed to do it and then realized what a horrible mistake I’d made, but as the service got closer, I realized that it was an honor and an important thing to do, for a lot of reasons. One, it helped my own faith; two, it challenged my public-speaking phobia; and three, our church doesn’t have many women in prominent leadership positions. Our worship team is half female, but our pastors are male, and I was secretly proud of getting to represent (insert faux gang sign here).
I write and emphasize and encourage women in public, visible, traditionally male-dominated roles, but I never thought of stepping up to take one myself. I realized that I was stepping up not only as a speaker, but as a worship leader, which was totally bizarre, especially in light of yesterday’s post. Who am I to inspire or lead or speak or generally be up in front of people, looking like I know what I’m doing? And yet that’s what I was called to do last night. I gave what I had, and it went well.