Things I’m (Not) Learning From Tendonitis

In the attempt to a) not go crazy and b) return the borrowed game to my friend in less than a year, I’ve enlisted Kevin to play Mass Effect for me while I tell him what to do.  Since I haven’t played in over a month, I’ve forgotten pretty much all of the controls, the complex equipment system, and oh yeah, the need to save obsessively.

So far it’s gone reasonably well, even though he got recruited near the end (ie. the most difficult part) of the game.

Generally it goes something like this:

“CRAP it’s Saren! Hide!”


“Run to that pillar thing!”

“Is there a sprint?”

“Uhhh I don’t remember!  Okay, now duck out, hold down the right shoulder button, target him, and use Warp!”

“Which one is that?”

“It looks like a dude dissolving!”


“THIRD FROM THE LEFT! Oh, and tell Garrus to equip his stupid sniper rifle!”

“How do I do that?”

It takes co-op gaming to a whole new level.

Welcome to Mass Effect! HAVE A BOSS FIGHT.

So, Thing I’m Learning #1 is that Kevin is the best, most helpful, and hardest-working husband.  We successfully completed “Mass Effect” last night and only wanted to bash each other’s heads in once or twice!

Other things I’m learning:

#2: I have basically no patience.  Not with myself, not with God, not with commuters, not with my stupid wrists.  If the tendonitis is a big cosmic plan to teach me patience…well, I’m going to have tendonitis for a long, long time.

#3: I need to eat an actual breakfast.  The amount of ibuprofen I’m taking now can wreak some havoc on my insides if I don’t eat enough, which is inconvenient considering my breakfast is usually a Greek yogurt consumed over the course of an hour at work.  See also: Coffee Isn’t Breakfast.

#4: I can’t just be still.  This is related to #2.  I’ve been watching a lot of “West Wing” lately as a means to stay put and not feel like I’m completely wasting my life, but even then, I’ll find myself reaching for my phone or Ipad to check on things.  The only workaround I’ve found is to wear the wrist braces, which makes doing things painful.  Because tendonitis pain isn’t enough of a deterrent, apparently.

#5: I’m awful at asking for help.  I hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing someone, so I’m way more likely to just get something done on my own, whether I could use assistance or not.  Even though getting help would mean more rest and faster healing, I still don’t ask often enough.

So essentially, tendonitis is reaffirming the worst personality traits I always suspected I had but never bothered to address.  Yay!

Luckily my Dragon software arrived, which should help me feel more productive again.  In the meantime, I have got to wear my wrist braces more.


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