Chaos Terrain

“You’re serious.”

“Of course I am.”

He wouldn’t take the pamphlet from her hands. She folded it to her chest.

“It’s one-way,” he said. “Why would you go?”

Her footprints in iron oxide dust; her name writ in discovery’s legacy; new stars, herself among them.

“Because,” she whispered. “It’s Mars.”

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19 thoughts on “Chaos Terrain

    • Haha, yes, I hope it came through that they were actually pretty happy together, but she couldn’t pass up this opportunity. 🙂

    • I read an essay somewhere about the kinds of people who have signed up for the potential first manned mission to Mars, and some of them are people with families who are willing to give all that up to see Mars and be part of that history. I think this character was hoping he’d want to come with her and couldn’t quite grasp that he wouldn’t want to be part of it.

  1. I had first thought of writing on the same topic but then changed my mind. I love the way you’ve captured her dream of being on Mars! One can imagine the dreamy, starry look in her eyes as she said those lines 🙂

  2. This one made me smile! It doesn’t seem entirely sad. It doesn’t read full of heartbreak. It’s sweet. It’s loving. The main character is following a passion, and the other person seems to know that, although he doesn’t want her to leave. “It’s one-way,” though, did hit me hard at first. It’s like he telling her, “Do you realize you’re not coming back? Don’t go!” Okay, there’s a bit of heartbreak there. It’s just so well written!

    • Thank you for your close reading! I think there’s heartbreak on both sides – she was so excited and couldn’t quite grasp that he wouldn’t want to go on the adventure, too.

  3. Oh, I love the last line. It’s a clear beginning middle and end. Its has such a hopeful…dare I say…starry-eyed tone? The pamphlet was such great imagery and a way to show each characters reaction.

  4. Pingback: YeahWrite #316 Weekly Writing Challenge: Popular Vote Winners and Editors' Picks - YeahWrite

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