[Image: page 13 of “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte. Most of the text has been blacked out. The remainder reads:
I resisted the new strength
of myself,
that strange resolve
shame! How is he my master?
my impulse
must break
she loosened her folded arms,
dark and incredulous
She never did so before]
[this is an erasure poem, and this is what that is]
Photo by Nicole Mason on Unsplash
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Tell me about your decision to keep the POV switch. It works; I’m not sure how though. We go from first person to third omniscient (that’s how I’m reading it anyway). It’s like the reader zooms out of the narrator’s ear to check her body language.
I knew it would be tricky to try to keep it, but I hoped it would work one way or another. That’s part of why there’s such a big break in the text (5 lines blacked out compared to 1 or 2 elsewhere). I hoped it would read as an outsider’s perspective observing the narrator’s new strength flowering.
“Dark and incredulous” did so well at reflecting the mood of this. Good for her!
There’s something about a triumphant ending that gets me every time. Well done with this. Erasure poems are so fun, right?
It was fun but way trickier than I anticipated! It was hard to make something new happen in the text, rather than just condensing what was there.
I love that you’ve maintained both the POV switch and the essence of the original text in this erasure poem. That experiment really paid off well.
I love the phrase that you chose for the last line. It ties very well with the title. nice!
Great job with what I consider to be a difficult form.
Thanks! It was definitely challenging!
I’m with Nate. I don’t know how it worked, but the point of view shift is amazing. It made me think of a woman struggling to find her strength, then when she does, it becomes something greater than herself.
Awesome! I’m glad it worked for you!
I didn’t get the POV switch my first read through, but after reading the other comments, I gave it another chance. I could finally understand what the others were saying.
I really liked this. I am not a poem person and I find them difficult to both read and write. However, this one sticks with me. I honestly didn’t pay attention to the POV shift. If it works it works. Like orange and chocolate, right? 🙂